Everybody has an expectation of what they want from life. Some aspire to have a successful career or to travel. But at some stage in everybody’s life, there will come a time when they think about having kids or what they would want out of deciding to have children. And while we all know exactly what you get out of parenthood can vary wildly, everybody will at least have certain hopes and best case scenarios in their minds. Some people, however, want their dream family to come together a lot more than others.
For some the fantasy about their family would be that they have a successful life, however, others may be wanting to nurture specific genders or mix of genders that they feel will benefit from their style of parenting. As well as every mother wanting to see her daughter have kids of their own, and every father would like a son to pass their mantle to. Let’s explore some of the most common reasons people decide to cement the family they envisioned in their head into reality by undertaking IVF for baby boys (or girls).
Mix of genders
Now everybody should obviously love their children no matter their children that much should go without saying. However some people are sometimes more blessed with one gender of a child than the other and as such, some people feel like they either want to balance the mix of genders currently in their house or, for some, would like to ensure this mix from the beginning of their families journey. Either way, this is the most common excuse that people give when asked why they want to specify the genders of their children. For some though, this balance of genders can be not just a practicality, but an aspiration of being able to genders and most people would have a mix of genders in their minds from a young age nurture those from both.
However, we could also look at this from the other end of the spectrum. After all, not everybody would want to bring up children from both genders, some may have their own personal reasons for this, from affection towards one gender over another, in order to balance the entire family as a whole across various aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews.
Everybody is more than entitled to their own opinion and preferences, some may just find one gender cuter, or even that they just simply don’t like the idea of bringing up girls, or boys. These people will often seek out ways to ensure that their children are of one gender, be that with fertility treatments or from old wives tales and traditional “methods”. At the end of the day as much as getting the gender of a child that you want, just as important for some people is not getting the gender of baby they don’t want, and if you agree that one school of thought is fine then so too must the other.
Passing on the “Family name”
In many cultures in the world, the mantle of the family, i.e. the name, will be passed on to the firstborn son of the family. This is due to the practice of most cultures of women taking their husbands’ surname after marriage and making their own branch of that family. To some people, the prospect of their families name ending with them, particularly if they are the last male member of the family themselves can be daunting. It can also bring pressure from their family to have a male child to ensure that their family lives on through them.
Also in many cultures in the world that consider the men the sole breadwinner and they are expected to take care of their parents long into their old age. This is true of countries like India where male members of the family work to take care primarily of their parents, not the parents of their wife. Thus for this particular demographic, the idea of not having a male relative to care for them can be worrying. However, in India, gender selection is illegal and many find themselves travelling outside their home countries in order to receive this service. This leaves people who really want this service, but not wealthy enough to seek it abroad in a dire circumstance indeed.
Unfortunately, some people suffer with genetic diseases that are not always found in the parent themselves, but they can be inherited by their children. These diseases, such as dystrophy, autism and haemophilia can be serious and life changing not just to the child who lives with them daily, but also their families. Many people want to ensure that they don’t have these kinds of complications when they find out they carry them. For many of these genetic disorders, probabilities can be worked out by the gender of the parent what gender of child is more likely to inherit the disease.
However, the concept of medical gender selection can also extend to psychology, where a single mother may feel more understanding and in a better position to care for a little girl rather than a young boy. Or if a family had previously lost a daughter or son, they may not want to be reminded if their child who passed away on the first pregnancy after such a traumatic event, indeed ever.
As much as anything else in this life, exploring gender selection for your family is an individual path that you have to take, decide on and rationalize for yourself. Choice is not a bad thing and the way you make a choice like this is to contemplate whether you would be equally happy with either outcome. And if you feel that you are unsure, then looking into your options cannot hurt. What is most important is finding a clinic that not only treats you like an individual, but also understands your situation, sometimes before you do yourself.